Book Posts

Escape from the Twelve Mile Tower of Crap

Imagine, if you will, a massive tower stretching into the sky as far as the eye can see—twelve miles into the sky, to be exact (twenty-six kilometers for you metric geeks). That’s halfway through between the boundary of the troposphere and the mesosphere, smack dab in the center of the stratosphere (for all you super-geeks out there, of which I am one).

One might imagine that such a tower would take up multiple city blocks just to support such an enormous structure. Honestly, such a structure would be impossible, especially considering that the dimensions of this tower stretch from the absurd into the impossible. You see, this tower is six inches wide, nine inches deep—and, of course twelve miles tall.

I’m assuming, by this point, you are scratching your head, wondering what on earth (or twelve miles above earth) this tower actually is.

I’m so glad you asked. If you took the ONE MILLION BOOKS PUBLISHED LAST YEAR ALONE and stacked them on top of each other (flat, not end-to-end), you would have a tower twelve miles tall.

Let me be even more specific: you would have a tower of crap twelve miles tall.

Indulge me, for a moment. On average, the typical book released last year sold less than 250 copies. Now, I’m sure that many of these books were written as the culmination of a personal dream or aspiration, and that’s great. But, with the advent of self-publishing, it stands to reason that of the million or so books published last year, the vast majority of those books are likely—not very good (how about that for a euphemism?).

So, when someone like myself works very hard on a novel and has every intention of selling the book to as many people as he can, it is a bit daunting to approach the twelve mile tower of crap and toss the book on top of it.

[By the way, just to be clear, there are thousands upon thousands of great books released each year, many of which just don’t get the notice they deserve.]

So, what is an author to do?

Again, I’m thrilled that you asked that question.

Answer: everything.

But just like Blanche DuBois, I’m going to depend on the kindness of strangers (and not-so-strangers).

What can you do to help ensure the success of Zephyr? I’ll give you three easy steps:

  1. Buy the book. It doesn’t matter if you like eBook or physical book, we’ve got them all. And it makes no difference to me. You want to buy the paperback from Amazon? Click HERE. You want the Kindle version? Click HERE. Want it on nook? Good! Click HERE! Want a signed copy of the paperback? Of course you do! Click HERE. Whatever you choose, make the purchase. It’s totally worth it. While you’re doing that, I’ll go ahead and catch up on my playlist of hilarious grumpy cat videos on YouTube.
  2. Read the book. Don’t just buy it and throw it on your bookshelf. Read it. I’m 99.99% sure you are going to love it. It’s really that good.
  3. Review the book. If you love it like I think you will, write a review on Amazon, or Barnes & Noble, or Goodreads, or all three!

And then, once you’ve done these three, I have one more favor to ask you: tell everyone you know about it. Word of mouth, whether in-person or on social media, is one of the biggest factors in book-selling success. Post a link to the book on Amazon on your Facebook page. Tell your friends at the library how much you loved Zephyr. If you absolutely MUST, let someone borrow it (don’t worry, I won’t show up at their door with my PayPal Here thing and force them to swipe their card…I promise).

That’s it. You have your assignment. I’m counting on you.


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